I’m extremely lucky to call Lovely, Too my neighborhood bakery. It has a warm, relaxed vibe and pleasing variety of pastries and savory sandwiches. The vaulted and trussed ceilings, golden oak floors, terra cotta brick, and diligent Mac users make you feel like you live in a world that celebrates rigorous liberal arts education. The staff takes an earthy pride in both the quality of their goods and friendly, look-you-in-the-eye service—with a twist of irreverence and "Sorry” dancer stylings. It’s the place that I always wished were right around the corner. It's currently for sale, and I'm hoping the future owners retain its excellence and charm.

I’m going to apply my somewhat drippy affection for this place into a stone-cold (and likely evolving) algorithm in an effort to determine the world’s best bakery. As such, I will evaluate the following: three edible items, a drip coffee, and heartstring factor. This is big, bad Voodoo data at work.

Item 1: Sourdough Bread: $5.53
Its texture is pliant, but substantial. The taste is the right amount of salty and smooth. It’s equally delicious with a smattering of butter, as a sandwich base, or sopping up egg yolks.This is the best sourdough bread I’ve ever had. Unimpeachable. Perfect.
Rating: 10.0 out of 10

Item 2: Chocolate Chip & Walnut Blondie: $3.25
I selected this one with staff input. Butter-and-brown-sugar is the elixir of my gods, so I had high expectations that, I realize, were nobody’s fault but mine. I found that its sweetness dominated the taste, so it was missing out on a certain richness. And I found it a tad dry as well, even after a coffee dunk.
Rating: 5.2 out of 10

Item 3: Classic Glazed Donut: $2.50
The donut was weighty and moist, with a nice wave of vanilla extract. It’s divine on its own and makes for a highly absorbent coffee partner. I love a simple donut, and could not have been happier with this.
Rating: 10.0 out of 10

Coffee (12 Ounces): $2.15
Lovely, Too serves Ipsento, a Chicago-based roaster. I had a choice between decaf and Guatemala and chose the latter. It was flavorful and rich, but with an acidity that called for a little sugar.
Rating: 9.0 out of 10

Heartstrings
Oh, they are tugged. Especially since it’s for sale.
Tug factor: 9.4 out of 10

Algorithm Score

Update
The doors have closed on Lovely, Too. As of April 2017, a new bakery called pHlour has opened in its place. Review is forthcoming.